Every Night at Eleven, the Basketball Started

I have thought a great deal about how to describe the sound of a basketball being dribbled on a concrete driveway at eleven at night, and the best I can do is this: it is the sound of a heartbeat that hates you. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Not fast, not aggressive, just steady and eternal and directly, geometrically beneath my bedroom window, which faced the driveway of the house next door.

The dribbler was a kid named Devon, sixteen, who had moved in with his aunt the previous spring. He was not a bad kid. That needs to be said early, because for about eight months I did not believe it, because for about eight months Devon was, to me, not a person but a rhythm, a bounce that started around eleven and went until midnight or later, every night, through fall and into a cold winter when I genuinely could not understand what kind of teenager stands in the freezing dark bouncing a ball for an hour.

I did everything a reasonable adult does. I asked him to stop, and he did, and then the next night it started again. I asked his aunt, who was tired in a way I recognized but did not yet understand, and she said she would talk to him, and the bouncing paused for two nights and returned. I bought a white noise machine. I bought earplugs. I bought, at my lowest, a book about soundproofing that I never opened. I lay awake composing furious speeches. I began to hate a teenager with an intensity that frightened me a little, and I am not a hater by nature.

What broke it was not a confrontation. It was a flat tire. Mine, in the driveway, on a Saturday, and Devon walked over unprompted and changed it, fast and competent, and while he did it we talked, the first real conversation we had ever had, and the bouncing came up because how could it not.

He told me he could not sleep. He had come to live with his aunt because things at his mother's had fallen apart in a way he described in about four words and then went quiet about, and he did not have friends here yet, and the only thing that emptied his head was the ball. The rhythm, he said, was the one thing louder than his own thoughts. He knew it bothered people. He did it anyway because the alternative was lying in the dark with everything he was not saying. Eleven o'clock, he said, was when it got bad. Eleven was when the house went quiet and his brain got loud.