I Was Just a Row in the Catfish's Spreadsheet
The dog was cute, the job sounded real, and he texted every day. Then I spotted a spreadsheet in the background of a photo, with my misspelled name in a grid of women. I was just a row.
The dog was cute, the job sounded real, and he texted every day. Then I spotted a spreadsheet in the background of a photo, with my misspelled name in a grid of women. I was just a row.
I brought my own hidden camera to the rental — I always do now. It didn't catch a ghost. It caught the host letting himself in every afternoon while we were out, and doing something to the coffee.
The woman who lived in our rental before us kept a key. She let herself in for her mail while we were out, then while we were home and asleep. The landlord shrugged. We found she had never actually moved out of the attic.
On a big family road trip we stopped for gas, everyone shuffled seats, and we pulled back onto the highway. Ninety miles later a very calm phone call asked where everybody went.
She sits at the bottom, ears up, tail still, facing the fourth step. Every evening at six. She has done it for three years.
I'm a data engineer. I logged every sensor in my flat for a year to debug 'draughts.' The spreadsheet found a pattern: a heat signature the size of a person, moving room to room, at 3:33 a.m.
I kept feeling watched in my own bedroom. One night I found the tiny hole behind the framed picture, and behind the wall, in the vacant next unit, a chair, a blanket, and a very patient man.
His profile said airline captain, six foot two, flies to Tokyo weekly. The man who stood up was five foot six, fifteen years older, and wearing a sunglasses kiosk polo. His name was Gary.
The dream never changes: a low ceiling, a smell like pennies, and a decision being made about me by people who are not unkind.
Since my teens, one unfamiliar face kept appearing in my dreams — always at a blue door. At thirty-one, a rental viewing put me in front of that door, and he opened it.
I did a DNA kit for fun. It matched me to a woman marked "sister" I had never heard of, two years older, given up before I was born. My mother went white when I said the name. My father left the room.
My three-year-old, buckled into his car seat, asked why I looked so much younger 'than when we drove the green truck' — then described my grandfather's logging routes.
A message from my own number arrived reading 'wear the boots' — timestamped the next day. Twenty-six hours later I understood, standing at a flooded rail crossing.