The Dad At Under-9s Who Wanted The Referee Sacked For "Bias" Against His Son

The referee was fifteen years old. He had done a course, he had a whistle, and he was being paid six pounds and given a sausage roll at half time, which in the economy of under-9s football is a fair wage.

The dad — let us call him Kev, because that is not his name and because it fits — was a man in his forties who arrived every Sunday in a coat that cost more than the club's entire kit budget.

His son is a nice kid. Average. Which is a beautiful thing to be at nine, and which Kev experiences as a personal injury.

Kev spent the season on the touchline saying things like "referee, look at him" and "that's a foul, son, learn the game".

The incident: a goal was disallowed, correctly, for offside. Kev came onto the pitch. Onto it. He stood in front of a fifteen-year-old boy and asked him if he "understood the rules of the game he was officiating", and the boy — God, this boy — said, "Yes, sir. Offside. Please leave the pitch."

Kev did not leave the pitch. Kev was removed from the pitch by two other dads, one of whom is a plumber with forearms like fire extinguishers.

Then Kev wrote a two-page letter to the county FA requesting the referee be "removed from the register" for "demonstrable bias".

The county FA replied in one paragraph. I have seen it, because the club chairman had it laminated.

It said that the referee's decision was correct, that the match observer's report noted "exemplary calm", and that Mr Kev was suspended from attending club fixtures for the remainder of the season.

His son played the rest of the season without him on the touchline.

He was, and I say this with a full heart, twice the player.

He scored in April, and he ran to the other dads, and one of the dads picked him up, and I watched a nine-year-old boy be uncomplicatedly happy in a way I had not seen all year.

Kev came back in September. He has been quiet. Not nice. Quiet.

I will take it.