The HOA Fined Me For A Flag That Was Legally Required

The flag was orange. It was in the strip of grass between the pavement and the road, which is not my property, and which I have never mown without resentment.

It was put there by the gas company. It is a locate marker. It is required by law before anybody digs, and there was digging scheduled, because our street is old and everything under it is older.

The HOA fined me ninety dollars a day for a "non-conforming decorative item in the public-facing zone".

I replied with a photograph of the marker, a photograph of the works notice, and a link to the state statute, and I said, politely, that removing it would be a criminal offence and also that I would prefer my house not to explode.

They fined me for the reply, under a rule about "argumentative correspondence".

I want to make it clear that this is a real rule. I have read it. It exists. Somebody wrote it, and other people voted for it, and they did that as adults in a room with coffee.

The fines ran for eleven days. Nine hundred and ninety dollars. The gas company came, dug up the street, fixed the thing that was leaking — leaking! actual gas! — and took their flag away with them, and the HOA sent me a final notice that included the phrase "we trust this resolves the matter".

I paid nothing. I sent one letter, from an actual lawyer, who charged me two hundred dollars and enjoyed himself enormously.

The board dropped the fines and issued a statement to the community that referred to "a misunderstanding regarding a utility item".

Here is my favourite part, and the reason I am posting this instead of just seething in the shower.

Three weeks later they put up a decorative flag of their own by the entrance sign. Seasonal. Bright orange, for autumn.

I photographed it. I submitted it, anonymously, as a violation, quoting their own rule, in their own words, with their own reference number format.

They took it down within two days.

Nobody said anything to me. Nobody has ever said anything to me. But the president does not make eye contact at the mailboxes now, and honestly, that is worth more to me than the nine hundred and ninety dollars.